Beyond Doubt: Recognising and Overcoming Gaslighting

According to a post by Medical News Today:

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or unable to trust themselves."

Jennifer Huizen 2023

In an abusive relationship, gaslighting unfortunately can be all too common and, due to its manipulative powers, many people don't even realise it is occurring. So... what can it look like?

Someone who is gaslighting you may:

• Question your memory

• Refuse to listen to make you doubt what you're saying

• Refuse to take responsibility for their own actions

• Say things that do not match their actions

• Lie and deny doing wrong even when there is proof

• Make you feel the need to defend their behaviour when they do wrong

They may say things like:

• You made me do that

• You know I never said that

• You're always making things up

• Stop being so dramatic

• You're remembering it wrong

• You're too sensitive, it was only a joke

• You're crazy

• I did it because I love you

• You're overreacting

• That's your fault

The effects of gaslighting include:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Isolation

• Low self-esteem

• Self-doubt

• PTSD

Seeking help: It’s important to keep a record of things as they happen, to return to as proof if a person makes you start to doubt your own memory. Be careful to record information in safe space where the abusive person will not be able to access it. Seeking professional help to heal and recover from  gaslighting can help to regain confidence and self-esteem. See our resource page for more.