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Supporting a friend

If you notice a friend is having a hard time or if they tell you about violence at home, it can be hard to know how to respond. It is important to balance between helping your friend and making sure you are protecting your own wellbeing.

Listen without judgement:

  • Listen without interrupting. 

  • Try not to make judgments about their experiences.

  • Remember they may not have anyone else to talk to.

  • Acknowledge their feelings. Eg. "it must be so hard to experience that".

  • Trust what your friend says.

  • Ask if they are okay.

  • Offer to help them seek support. Eg. offer to visit the counsellors office with them.

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Encourage them to speak to a trusted adult: 

  • Counsellors or teachers may be able to help keep your friend safe.

  • Speaking to someone may help reduce stress and risk of harm.

  • You can offer to go with your friend to speak to a trusted adult or counsellor.

  • If your friend does not want to speak to anyone, it is important to respect their decision.

Respect their privacy or decisions:

  • ​If someone shares that there is trouble at home, they are trusting you with that information.

  • Listen without judgement and acknowledge their emotions.

  • You may be confused or not understand but try not to interrupt when they are speaking.

  • If your friend does not want to answer questions or share more, respect that decision.

  • If your friend's safety is in danger and they do not want to seek help, you could speak to a trusted adult without disclosing their name (eg. “I have a friend who…) or call the Kids Helpline for advice.

  • Remember that there may be things they are not telling you and that checking in to see if they are okay, can make a big impact.

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Spend time together and offer help if possible

  • Young people experiencing domestic or family violence can often feel isolated.

  • Inviting your friend to spend time together at your house or in a public location, may help distract your friend from what is going on at home.

  • If you are able to, inviting your friend to stay at your home for a night may temporarily reduce stress.

  • It may help to offer transport or help with schoolwork (i.e tutoring) if your friend is struggling and feeling overwhelmed.

  • It is important to remember that everyone is different and some people may prefer spending time by themselves.

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