Are you supporting a parent?

If you have a parent who is experiencing domestic violence, it can be hard to know how to help them. A lot of the time, it may seem like there is nothing you can do to help, especially if they do not want you to be involved or if they believe the way they are being treated is normal.

We know how hard it can be to want to help a parent but not know how.
Here are some things that may work for you:

Ensure safety

If there is an emergency call 000. If there is ongoing harm, it may help to speak to a trusted adult and if possible, organise a safe place to stay in an emergency. You could also make a code word between your parent and yourself which signals calling a friend/neighbour/000 for help.

Speak to a professional or trusted adult for advice

If you are unsure how to help a parent you can chat anonymously to an online counsellor or domestic violence organisation. See a list of available helplines on our helplines page. If you think a parent or family member could benefit from speaking to an anonymous counsellor or domestic violence service, you may be able to share these contacts with them as well.

Develop a safety plan

Staying safe is a priority, both for yourself and any affected family members. One way to be prepared in an emergency is to make a safety plan with your parent or siblings so that in an emergency, you know what to do and where to go. If it is safe to do so, you could also put important belongings and documents together in the same place so they can be quickly accessed in an emergency.

Encourage self-care

Remind your parent or family members to take care of themselves physically and emotionally. You could offer to go for a walk with them or encourage them to do things that will help them reduce stress. If you are able to, you could also make your parent or family members dinner or do jobs around the house to help reduce extra stress.

Set clear boundaries

Trying to help a parent or family member can be tiring so you should always make sure you are taking care of your emotional and physical health. If your parent begins depending on you too much for help, you could ask a trusted family member or adult to speak with them instead or speak to a counsellor for more advice. If you are ever struggling, there are people available to help. See more on our helplines page.

One way you can help a parent is by sharing resources or services that may help them. During a difficult time, it can be hard for a person to access or seek out support, so it may be helpful to share a service with a parent who is trying to get help. Check out our services page for a list of services available across Australia.

Look through our services page for more support

Supporting a parent and managing your own stress can be hard...

Even if you want to support your parent, it’s important to look after yourself too. Witnessing or hearing about domestic violence can be very stressful, so know that it’s okay to seek help. Visit our Supporting Yourself page or the Helplines section for more support.

SUPPORTING YOURSELF

And remember: fixing your parent's actions or problems is not your responsibility...

A parent may appreciate if you try to help them but that doesn't mean that you need to be responsible for everything. It is your parent or caregivers responsibility to care for you, not the other way around. If you are feeling pressure in your family or feel like you have to act as the parent within your family, you are not alone.

There is support available.

A friend
A teacher
A doctor or nurse
A counsellor
A police officer
A trusted adult
A sports coach
A religious or spiritual leader
An online helpline

If you need someone to talk to, you can try:

YOU MATTER

ACCESS HELPLINES